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Post by Lucy Weasley on Oct 23, 2008 22:36:23 GMT -5
Basically it should speak for itself, a list of hilarious things you can come up with, of what others have done in the roleplay, or what you think.
I'll start for an Example, all thing I can see Lucy doing:
1. I will not refer to the 'Accio' charm, as The Force. 2. I will not tell the first years, they should build a treehouse in the Whomping Willow. 3. I will not sing "We're off to see the Wizard" on the way to the Headmistress's office. 4. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
5. I will not create a pin-up calendar of the Slytherin girls and call it "Voldie's Angels". 6. I will not convince the house elves to unionize. 7. "You might be a pureblood if..." jokes will get me in trouble, especially in front of Slytherins. 8. I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?" 9. I will not refer to house elves as "self-disciplining submissives". 10. If a classmate is jingling the change in his pockets, I will not laugh at him for "playing with his Knuts". 11. Despite the fact that it takes place in a dungeon, I may not safeword out of Potions class. [/blockquote]
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Post by Lucy Weasley on Oct 24, 2008 3:39:22 GMT -5
12. I will not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty". 13. I will not greet Headmistress McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?" 14. I will stop referring to Hufflepuff’s as “cannon fodder”. 15. I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations. 16. I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here. 17. Ravenclaw’s(Especially Molly.) do not find a sign saying “The library is closed for and indefinite time period” amusing in any sense. 18. I will not follow potions instructions in reverse order just to see what happens. 19. I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on who will come out alive. 20. I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of “Knights of the Round Table” for the Christmas feast. 21. I am not allowed to reenact famous battles of the Revolutionary War in the charms corridor. 22. I am not allowed to declare an official Hug A Slytherin Day.
23. I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways. 24. I will not scare the Arithmancy students with a Calculus book. 25. I will not put muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library. 26. I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" around - [insert character name here] ((Just ask if you want to be added to the list lol))
(( I warn everyone that everything I put here on this list, Lucy has either done, or is going to do soooo beware.))
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Post by Lucy Weasley on Oct 24, 2008 3:41:49 GMT -5
27. The proper way to report to a Professor is "You wanted to see me, Professor?" Not "I have it on good authority that you have no evidence." 28. I am not allowed to eat Chocolate Frogs in class. 29. Even if I brought enough for everyone. 30. Emptying a bag full of them onto the Professor's desk to prove this last is unacceptable behavior. 31. I am not authorised to sell incriminating pictures of the faculty to students. 32. Giving the same pictures out free of charge is also frowned upon. 33. There is no bring a muggle to school day. 34. And I should stop insisting there is. 35. I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets". 36. I will never again use the spell used to enchant bludgers on peas. 37. Or tomatoes, plums, oranges, or any other food item. Or any other item that is not a Bludger. 38. Stealing Prefects' clothing and then tossing it into and around the whomping willow is highly frowned at. 39. Despite popular belief, Hufflepuffs are not soft and squishy. Do not treat them as such. 40. No part of the school uniform is edible. 41. Not allowed to make any part of the school uniform edible. 42. Not allowed to use silencing charms on my Professors. 43. I may not challenge prefects to Meet me on the Quidditch field, at dawn. 44. I should not show up at the front gate wearing part of another houses uniform, messily drunk. 45. Even if my prefect did it. 46. I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.
[/blockquote]
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Post by Lucy Weasley on Oct 24, 2008 3:44:16 GMT -5
47. I am not to sing 'We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!' when sent to the Headmistress's office EVEN if accompanied by the house elves acting as a backing group. 48. I will not commit crimes and then say I was under the Imperius curse. 49. I will not insult people and then say I was given Veritaserum. 50. I am not allowed to Accio the clothing of any person while they are wearing it. 51. I am not allowed to organize a witch burning, even if I have been assigned to do a presentation on Muggle history in my Muggle Studies class. 52. Providing Peeves with a case of dungbombs was a socially irresponsible action, and I will not do it again. 53. Shouting random Latin phrases while waving my wand is not acceptable charms research. 54. I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes. 55. "Defying my will" is not a crime worthy of life in Azkaban, and I should not tell that to the first-years.
56. The fact that there are only three unforgivable curses does not mean that every other curse is "pretty much forgivable". 57. Please do not tell 1st years that the fried chicken is really Kentucky Fried Owl. 58. Hogwarts is in the UK, thus the United States Constitution does not apply to any of its students. Therefore, 'Avada Kedavra' does not fall under First Amendment freedom of speech rights. 59. It is not appropriate trade first years between houses. 60. I will not tell first years that "any true wizard or witch" can see Thestrals, and that if they can't they "obviously aren't cut out for this school". 61. I am not qualified to perform exorcisms on Hogwarts ghosts, and attempting to do so will merely offend them. 62. The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate. [/blockquote]
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Post by Bridgette Ricci on Oct 25, 2008 0:57:51 GMT -5
Okay, this looks fun! I could see little Bridgey widgey list going like this:
1. I will not sneak into the Care of Magical creatures department and release all the animals. 2. I will not get into heated about eco friendliness with teachers and call the professor an arrogent prat. 3. I will not scream profanities in defence against the dark arts everytime they sacrifice a spider for spell teaching. 4. I will not scoff at peoples other peoples presinations no matter how wrong they may be. 5. I will not encourage Lucy Weasley's wrong doings no matter how hilarious they may be. 6. I will not try and set the house elves free... like I did the last 6 times. 7. I will not comment 'I smell Slytherin' everytime I smell a foul stench. 8. I am not allowed to sneak in a puppy as my pet into Hogwarts, no matter how many times I try and convince the teachers its a cat. 9. I will not refer to my potions ingredients like Frozen Ashwinder Eggs as almost born babies, boomslang as shreaded snake or Bezoar as goat organs. 10. I am not allowed to go near sharp objects in a foul mood. 11. I cannot burst out laughing at the words 'pecker', 'screw' or 'Graphorn'. 12. When a teacher mentions the deflating drought I cannot turn to a fellow female classmate and tell them its obvious they have tried it before. [/blockquote]
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Post by Luca Lovell on Oct 25, 2008 16:10:46 GMT -5
1. I will not laugh at Akira Wood's last name when in a 'boyish' mood. (Even though she is small, she packs a good punch) 2. I will not hit on the female teachers... in front of the class. 3. I will not use inappropriate pick-up lines on a girl when meeting her for the first time.
ooc; There could be so many more, but that's all I've got for now. xD
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Post by Kamilla Lestrange on Oct 26, 2008 2:24:46 GMT -5
- I will not refer to the Burrow as a puppy mill
- I will not mutter, "close your damn legs", every time I see Sofia Flint.
- I will also not press condoms into her hand, requestion her to not spread diseases throughout the entire school.
- I will spare Ravenclaws public humiliation by not interrogating them of their limited reading abilities
- I will not tease Luca Lovell about his magnificent sword.
- I will not threaten to Avada Kedrava Lucy Weasley's ass off when Tripigo is stalking me.
--there could be so many more, you're right morgan! sorry to pick on you guys, morgan and court. you were just . . . there. xD
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Post by Sofia Flint on Oct 26, 2008 19:11:43 GMT -5
-I will not play nice with Kamilla Lestrange and then turn around and call her a filthy, backstabbing, good for nothing bitch. -I will not threaten to push Lucy Weasley into the Black Lake. -I will not flirt with teachers. -I will not lock myself in broom closests with good-looking pure blooded boys. -I will not not do all the things on this list...
(don't you love double negatives?)
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Post by Valencia Scamander on Oct 29, 2008 21:50:45 GMT -5
- I will not request cigarettes of any brand from Mr. Tripigo, or any other illegal substances. He is a teacher, not a dealer, no matter how much it may seem otherwise.
- Guilt-tripping him into giving them to me for free is also highly frowned upon.
- I will not hand Sadie pamphlets for Planned Parenthood, NOW, nor will I hand her condoms, or attempt to give her "the talk."
- Desmond Creevey is not an alcoholic, simply a "alcohol enthusiast." He is to be told such, no matter how big a lie it is.
- Also, I will not tell him "Work is the curse of the drinking class."
- I will not call Rowan's cigarettes "fag fags."
- I will not cheat with my friends boyfriend on MY boyfriend, especially when the friend in question is Weasley, because they are EVERYWHERE.
[/size] [/li][/ul]
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Pogue Maye
Hufflepuff
Seventh year.
As played by Kat Von B
Posts: 49
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Post by Pogue Maye on Oct 30, 2008 12:01:28 GMT -5
MISSY:- Make it uncomfortabley obvious that I am checking girls out in the locker room after Quittage games.
- Slide down the rails in the stairwell.
- Walk into the Boy's dorm casually naked.
- Raid the kitchens
- Start a fight club with Jack Daniels
- Host a IFUCKINGLOVESADIESINCLAIR & JONISANASSHOLE club.
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Prof. Jasper Black
Hogwarts Staff
Astronomy Professor.
So what! I'm still a rockstar!
Posts: 165
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Post by Prof. Jasper Black on Nov 15, 2008 22:17:44 GMT -5
- I will not get into fights with other teachers outside of the Dueling Club.
- I will not tell the students how to prank other teachers I don't like.
- I will not sell Weasley's Wizard Wheezes under the counter in my classroom.
- I will not give Drew caffeine before sending him off to detention with teachers I hate.
- I will not leave my bedroom when important Slytherin parents are here.
- I will not tell Lucy Weasley how to get back at any Slytherin girl.
- I will not tell first years I have all the power and they have to obey my every word. That only applies in my classroom.
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Drew Longhorn
Gryffindor
Fifth year.
"I'm just a stupid kid!"
Posts: 81
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Post by Drew Longhorn on Nov 15, 2008 22:46:01 GMT -5
1.) If Lucy Weasley says it's a good idea, it usually isn't. 2.) I will keep in mind that the next time I put ink in Jasper Black's tea, she will-and I quote- "Crucio my ass" because she's protected by the ministry. 3.) I will never, ever quote The Breakfast Club for my teachers. 4.) My sister cannot be used as a shield. 5.) I will not tell first years it is required to visit my office after talking to Lucy Weasley. 6.) I will not sell "Get Out of Detention Free" cards out of my office. 7.) I will not sell a "Best Fights in Hogwarts" book out of my office. 8.) I am not allowed to have an office in the third stall on the right of the boy's bathroom. 9.) I will not refere to the headmistress as, "Granny." or "The Hokage." 10.) I am not to sell drugs or any other sort of illegal substance out of my office. 11.) Writing Livi love Fred on the Slytherin Common Room portrait is a mortal sin and I will be punished. 12.) I will NEVER EVER put whip cream in Luca Lovell's hand and then tickling his face with a feather so that he'll smear cream all over himself again. 13.) I will not scream like a girl and get Luca Lovell caught when he hangs me by my ankle out the Gryffindor Tower window. 14.) Laughing when Molly Weasley and other Ravenclaws freak because the library is "Closed Indefinitely" is another mortal sin. 15.) I will not turn the Charms Hall into a wind tunnel so girl's skirts will fly up.
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Lovely Knight
Gryffindor
Seventh year.
I'm miss bad media karma, another day another drama <333
Posts: 75
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Post by Lovely Knight on Dec 5, 2008 5:31:27 GMT -5
1. I will not soak Headmistress' McGonagall's knickers in meat and then claim that there is an emergency with the Thestrals. 2. I will not elope with any professors; no matter how lovely their buttox's may be! 3. My Patronus is NOT Zoboomafoo and I should stop insisting that he has his own TV show 4. Apparently saying "I see dead people" to every ghost I come across is not courteous nor polite. 5. I will not have a wailing match with Moaning Myrtle... 6. I will not offer to make Nearly Headless Nick, Headless. 7. I will not manipulate the Room of Requirement to host a Fantasia party... 8. I will not leave condoms in the broom closets 9. I will not use First Years as sacrifices to the Giant Squid 10. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to my Divination class 11. I will not hum the tune to Ghostbusters every time I come across Moaning Myrtle... 13. Or any other ghost for that matter. 14. I will not begin every Potions class with asking the professor, "Can today's potion be used as a sexual lubricant?" 15. I will not insist to the Slytherins that Voldy liked me more! 16. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do I will not immitate Steve Irwin's voice during my Care of Magical Creatures class. 17. I will not make lightsaber sounds with my wand... 18. If a thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds I am to assume I'm not allowed to do it 19. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful". 20. Asking Lucy Weasley to conclude a Quidditch match with; "Remember: Save a broomstick! Ride a wizard!" is not appropriate. 21. I will not teach the veela the lyrics to "Oops, I Did It Again" even if they ask nicely. 22. I may not sell Umbridge's quill to emo students, especially if they're no good at poetry. 23. Kingsley Shacklebolt is allowed to hurt me if I refer to him as 'my nigga'. 24. I am not the Defense Against Boring Classes professor 25. I will not sell pennies as priceless, Muggle collector coins. 26. I will not charm Firenze pink and call him "my little pony." 27. Or Laretu... 28. Sir Cadogan is not one of the knights who say "NI". 29. "Quidditch Players Do It in the Air" broom stickers are not allowed. 30. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colours indicate that they are "covered in bees". 31. Yelling "to infinity, and BEYOND!" is only funny the first time you ride a broom. 32. I will not add "according to the prophecy" at the end of all my sentences to raise my Divination grade. 33. I am not allowed to give Bridget Ricci Pokemon cards and convince her they're real creatures! 34. I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell or insist that there is one 35. Even if the situation is worthy of an "OMGWTF" 36. It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate 37. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core" 38. When asked where Fred Weasley is at I'm not allowed to to say; "Playing with his gadgets." in a sexually suggestive tone... 39. Even if he were truly "Playing with his gadgets" 40. "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice... 41. I am not allowed to taunt Headmistress McGonagall with Catnip 42. I will not paint a house elf green and refer to him as "Master Yoda"
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James Potter
Gryffindor
Sixth year
Being Born Into a Family of Leaders Does Not Make You a Born Leader.
Posts: 207
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Post by James Potter on Dec 5, 2008 17:29:13 GMT -5
1. I will not go to the Halloween Ball dressed as a dead Death Eater again. 2. I will not hold a grudge against Jasper (and get mad at her everytime I see her) for hiding under my bed and acting like a monster when I was six. 3. I will not cause trouble in the library to impress a girl. 4. Anytime someone mentions Ivy, I will not punch them in the face. 5. I will not get angry at Lucy anymore because of the people she hangs out with. 6. I will not convince 1st years that they have moved the O.W.L's to 2nd year. 7. I will not tell annoying people that Sirius Black came back as a ghost and he likes to haunt people that annoy me. 8. I will not scare Roxy by screaming "ROXY!! HEY!" everytime she walks by me. 9. I will not tell people that my dad is applying for the job as DaDa teacher. 10. I will not ask my dad to apply for DaDa teacher. 11. I will not tell McGonnagal that my dad wants her job. 12. I will not go to all the empty classrooms and make them a mess, then tell Danni that Peeves made them a mess so that she will have to clean them up. 13. I will not pretend to fall asleep in class to annoy my professor. 14. I will not fall asleep in class. 15. I will not write to Mum and tell her Death Eaters have kidnapped me. Her and Dad do not find it funny at all. 16. I will not threaten Hufflepuff and Slytherin 1st years by telling them my Dad is Harry Potter. 17. I will not scare Hufflepuff and Slytherin 1st years by telling them my dad was Voldemort. 18. I will not set off DungBombs and blaming it on Peeves. 19. I also will not blame the Dungbombs on Lucy. 20. I will not skip working For Uncle George because I don't feel like working. 21. I will not talk about how wonderful Ria is. 22. I will not talk about Ria when I'm around Lovely. 23. I will not stutter whenever I talk to Ria. 24. I will not put off asking Lovely out. 25. I will not make a gagging noise everytime a Slytherin walks by me. 26. I will not tell 1st or 2nd years that are studying or doing homework that the common room closes at 10. 27. I will not tell Nearly Headless Nick that nearly headed ghosts are stupid. 28. I will not walk moan and pretend to be the Bloody Baron when the Bloody Baron is near. 29. I will not say how I think Snape was the best Headmaster this school ever had when I'm walking by McGonnagal. 30. I will not sneak into McGonnagal's office to talk to the Dumbledore Portrait. 31. I will not try to take the Sword of Gryffindor and say it belongs to my dad. 32. I will not blame anything on Lucy when it is my fault. 33. I will not try to impress girls. 34. I will not flirt with girls so much. 35. I will not run my fingers through my hair. 36. I will not tell Lovely that blue would suit her better. Because it isnt true. 37. I will not try to capture Jupiter and then run to Danni and tell her the Threstrals ate him. 38. I will not hex anyone unless I know a professor isn't watching. 39. I will not ask my mum to teach me more hexes, because I know she will. 40. I will not go to Danni's office and tell her McGonnagal needs her, then steal all the candy she has in her drawers.
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Lysander Lovegood
Ravenclaw
don't hate me because of my superior intellect and sarcastic attitude.
Posts: 36
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Post by Lysander Lovegood on Dec 8, 2008 23:50:21 GMT -5
i got these from teh official list that is online.
1. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
2. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not an extra credit project for Herbology.
3. “I’ve heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood’s name” is not a challenge.
4. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
5. I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write “I told you I was hardcore”.
6. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
7. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
8. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year’s Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless, tacky, and not a clever money-making concept.
9. I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today’s project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.
10. Adding the name “Bueller” to Professor Binns’ roster is not funny.
11. “Springtime for Voldemort” is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.
12. Seamus Finnegan is not “after me Lucky Charms”.
13. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
14. I will not tell Ron and Hermione to “Get a room” whenever they start to fight.
15. I am not a tribble Animagus.
16. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.
17. I do not weigh the same as a duck no matter what that Muggle movie says.
18. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
19. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
20. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.
21. Asking “How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?” and walking away is only funny the first time.
22. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.
23. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.
24. Sir Cadogan is not one of the knights who say “NI”.
25. I will stop asking when we will learn to make “Love Potion Number Nine”.
26. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with “What’s new, pussycat?”
27. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I it’s founder.
28. I am not allowed to order the kitchen house-elves to spit into all the food to “enhance the flavor”.
29. The proper way to report to my Teacher is “Yes, Sir” not “You can’t prove a thing!”
30. I am not allowed to add pictures of teachers I don’t like to Wanted Deatheater posters.
31. There is no house made of candy in the forbidden Forest and it’s wrong to say so to first years.
32. I shall not add “according to the prophecy” at the end of my sentences to raise my Divination grade.
33. I am not to ask Aragog how things with the wife are. Especially if his wife is Shelob.
34. “To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is not an appropriate career choice. Not even if I am a witch.
35. I will not call my wand “an elegant weapon from a more civilized age”.
36. It’s just cruel to tell Nearly Headless Nick that he’d forget his head if it wasn’t attached.
37. The four houses are not the Morons, the Barons, the Smartasses, and the Junior Death Eaters.
38. My headmasters name is Albus Dumbledore, not “Gandalf”.
39. I will not teach the house-elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.
40. Yelling “to infinity and beyond” was only funny the first time I took off on my broom.
41. I will refrain from calling Harry and Ron “Frodo and Sam” and the Weasley twins “Merry and Pippin”.
42. Telling Draco Malfoy to “Make like a ferret and bounce” is always a bad idea.
43. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is coincidental.
44. No matter how creepy and abandoned some of the towers are, I will not find Johnny Depp with scissors for hands in any of them.
45. I will stop sneaking out at night to look for Ents in the Forbidden Forest.
46. I am not allowed to flood the Chamber of Secrets, install an organ, wear half a mask and sing Andrew Lloyd Webber.
47. I will not tickle a sleeping dragon “just to see what happens”.
48. When being questioned by a member of the staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce “These aren’t the droids you are looking for”.
49. I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter’s Firebolt.
50. I will not start singing and dancing in the middle of a class and blame that someone put the Imperious Curse on me.
51. I will not refer to the Accio Charm as “The Force”.
52. I will stop telling tree-huggers to go visit the Whomping Willow.
53. Loudly repeating “Voldemort Voldemort Voldemort” is not a good way to get the classroom quiet.
54. I must not sing “I’m off to see the wizard” every time I am sent to the headmasters office.
55. I must not throw Hermione’s copy of Hogwarts: A History out the window and then claim that it wanted freedom.
56. I will not tell Professor Trelawny that my teacup says she’s lying.
57. I must not convince first years that the new password to Gryffindor tower is “Petrificus Totalus” and must be recited with their wands pointed at themselves.
58. I will not jump up, yelling “VOLDEMORT, RUN!” in the middle of a Order of the Phoenix or DA meeting.
59. I will not tell Snape he needs to go to his “Happy place”.
60. I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand.
61. I must not claim my X-Files tapes are “Auror Training Videos”.
62. Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit.
63. I will not set Ravenclaw house on the task of calculating the exact value of pi.
64. However tempting it may be, I will not send Voldemort a Christmas card telling him how much we all love him, even through these difficult times.
65. I will not point out to the house-elves how much sushi could be made of the giant squid.
66. I will not dress like Neville’s grandmother when going to the Halloween Party in Snape’s class.
67. I will not give Voldemort a toupee to hide his baldness.
68. I will not steal veritaserum from Snape’s store and add some to the teachers’ morning tea.
69. When asked a question by a teacher I will not point out that the answer is protected by a fidelius charm and I am not the secret-keeper.
70. Do not jump out at Mad-Eye Moody for a joke.
71. The phrase “Good dragon, nice dragon, please don’t kill me,” doesn’t work.
72. I must not point to the Dark Mark in the sky and shout “To the Batmobile, Robin!”
73. Making a fake journal and leaving it in Ginny’s dormitory is not funny.
74. I must not point at Voldemort and say “I taught him everything he knows.”
75. I will not tell Umbridge “Voldemort says, ‘Hi,’” every time I see her.
76. I should not tell Cho Chang Cedric came to me in a dream and wanted me to tell her something, but I woke up before he did.
77. I must not intentionally mispronounce Cho’s name as “Ho”.
78. I should not tell Umbridge that I have a kitten named “Fluffy” she would like to meet. But I will anyway.
79. I will not pay Professor Flitwick to run around yelling “Help, they’re after me lucky charms!”
80. I must not convince Cedric to wear a red shirt on the last task of the Triwizard Tournament.
81. My name is not “Dark Lord Happy Pants” and I will not sign my papers as such.
82. I will not follow my Potions instructions backwards “just for the heck of it”.
83. I should never ask Harry if his “Scar Senses” are tingling.
84. I must not lock the all of Gryffindor and Slytherin in a room and see which house comes out alive.
85. I will not call the Dark Lord “Tommy-boy”.
86. As Stan Stunpike learned, impersonating a death eater doesn’t “get you chicks”.
87. I will not crush up booger flavored jelly beans and put them in Draco’s pumpkin juice…after this time.
88. I will NOT bleach Lucius Malfoy’s Deatheater robes.
89. I must not fill Umbridge’s room with flies and then tell the headmaster “She was looking a little deprived, flies are what toads eat right?”
90. I must not call Potions “Home-Economics” in front of Professor Snape.
91. Telling Lockheart that there’s something in between his teeth will NOT get you out of DADA.
92. Do not ask Snape how to make a love potion!
93. I will not enchant a scarecrow and suit of armor to skip through the halls singing, “We’re Off to See the Wizard”.
94. I will not hit on Hermione while Ron is in the same room.
95. Ron Weasley does NOT know Kim Possible.
96. I will not say, “What’s the sitch?” into the Order’s two-way mirrors.
97. I will not ask Snape who dumped him and made him so cranky.
98. A hug is not all Snape needs.
99. I will not splash water in Professor McGonagall’s face, expecting her to melt.
100. I am not allowed to set a troll loose because I think it needs some fresh air.
101. I can not call Professor Snape “the Sheriff of Noghtingham”.
102. I will not tell students that can’t see Thestrals that they are about to attack us.
103. Harry’s resemblance to Davy Croccet is purely coincidental.
104. Dropping a bucket of water on Snape’s head was only funny the first time…and the second…and third. But the forth time! No way.
105. I am not to sing “That’s So Raven” when passing Ravenclaws in the corridors.
106. I must not grind with my broomstick. (Tony Hawk style!)
107. I will not tell Hermione that the Hogwarts library has burned in a fire.
108. I must not tell Bellatrix that Voldemort got married.
109. I am not allowed to run my hands through Snape’s hair.
110. I must not tell Umbridge that some centaurs have invited her to a party.
111. I shall not tell Snape, “There is a thing called shampoo in the world.”
112. I must not yell “She-who-must-not-be-named is coming!” every time Umbidge walks down the hall.
113. I shall not say, “I heard that if you hug Voldemort he won’t kill you,” to the first years.
114. Professor McGonagall likes her milk in a glass, not a saucer.
115. Saying, “Here puss, puss, puss, puss, puss,” is not the best way to get McGonagalls attention during class.
116. Wolf whistling at Lupin when he walks by is not funny.
117. I must not bewitch the door to Professor Snape’s office so that it will only open if he says, “Business in front; party in the back!”
118. Convincing Peeves to go into suits of armor and say, “I am your father” isn’t funny.
119. Telling Slytherin first years that to enter their common room they must point their wands strait up and say, “Morsmordre” is just plain mean.
120. I will not bewitch Umbridge’s hand to take her special quill and write: “I am a pompous, ugly toad” 10,000 times.
At least, that’s what I’ll tell her.
In fact, make it 100,000!
121. When I see Professor Umbridge, I will not say, “There you are, Trevor. Neville has been looking all over for you.”
122. Dementors don’t like it when you walk up to them and ask if they are the Ghost of Christmas-Yet-To-Come.
123. When someone pulls Godric Gryffindor’s sword out of the Sorting Hat, I will not say, “You have acquired the Master Sword.”
124. Saying, “Accio brooms” while first years are having flying lessons isn’t nice.
125. I am not to ask, “Voldemort: boxers or briefs?”
126. I am not allowed to say, “Accio Hermione’s panties!”
127. Mad-Eye Moody’s moto is “constant vigilance” not “custard pudding”.
128. I must not moon Professor Lupin. Even if his nickname is “Moony”.
129. I will not stick Bill Weasley’s hair to the ceiling with a permanent-sticking charm.
130. The resurrection stone is not materia.
131. Voldemort’s nickname is NOT “Filthy Half-Blood”.
132. “Rub-on aphrodisiac” is not one of the twelve uses of dragon’s blood.
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