Jakob Stevenson
Hufflepuff
6th Year
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
Posts: 189
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Post by Jakob Stevenson on Dec 20, 2008 18:48:22 GMT -5
The violin sang sweetly, seeming to give reason to the vest and pants Jakob wore. The invisible audiance of students were silent, awed by his talent. Every screech and pull of his bow filled the room with melodic tones, tones long forgotten, music unknown to the ears that were not truely before him. With a few charms he could make the notes deeper, make the tiny violin a loud cello. He could fill the school with his music, make every student in the halls here his strange style. But he played for one person today, himself.
The song was slow, one about how the world seemed to be so twisted today. Nothing seemed to be adding up right anymore, not since he'd stopped being everyones punching bag, and started punching back. And thats what the song sounded like, punching. The punching and twisting and confusions that he felt everyday now. The things that gave him need for musical solace, a time where he walk to a classroom, and feel the warm tears stream from his eyes as he played.
When Jakob stopped he took a bow before the invisible audiance. He could hear the applause in his head, the love and warmth that preformers recieve. What about real love, what was that? He thought he may have felt it not long ago, in that kiss that Blair had given him. But he didnt know what to think of those feelings.
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Post by Kamilla Lestrange on Dec 20, 2008 19:38:25 GMT -5
The music suddenly stopped, the last tone hung in the open foyer. Lingering, quivering - just like the bow that had abruptly halted. The pale hands on the violin clutched the wooden neck harder, lovingly firmer, as the blond sixth year took a bow. It amused Kamilla, it produced a smile that, even Kamilla, had considered long forgotten. The soft smirk warmed her porcelain face, it made the sharp angles of her face blunt. It softened her edged demeanor and for a brief instance, you could see the Kamilla that had been covered. She was compassionate, quiet, almost timid, maybe even kind. But as the blond head arose, something arrived to make Kamilla's sharper again.
The man, boy, thing in front of her was confused. Its usually beaming face was marred by a worrisome expression that crinkled its brow. Before Kamilla could silence herself and stifle the caring side in her, she reached out and tapped the desk in front of her.
She had been sitting in the shadows; she had become invisible while hiding herself in the farthest corner of the empty dungeon classroom. She had been gazing out the window, relishing her immunity from glares and snipes when this Hufflepuff had entered with a queer case. The music that radiated from the wooden contraption that had been residing in that case, Kamilla had been able to enjoy it. She had been able to appreciate the music as it flowed out of an anonymous violinist but now that Jakob Stevenson had turned around, bowed, and shown his filthy face, Kamilla's softened soul was dagger - sharp again.
"Despite the obvious dislike I have for you, I have to applaud you." Words that were harsh, cold, dry, and void of emotion entered the air, taking the place of the now absent notes. The lithe figure jumped off the desk she had just thumped and walked out of the shadows she had taken refuge in.
"You're worried." She said, her own eyebrows crinkling. He seemed so conflicted. It was as if his face was the mirror of her soul, the mirror Kamilla had been running from when she hid in this room. "Why?"
[/color] [/size][/blockquote]
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Jakob Stevenson
Hufflepuff
6th Year
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
Posts: 189
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Post by Jakob Stevenson on Dec 20, 2008 19:53:24 GMT -5
Jakob turned his now winter iced eyes to Kamilla, the tears still fresh on his face, though he made no move to show that he needed to wipe them away. The girl before him had undoubtably been in here for a while now, longer than him. His eyes seemed glazed, in a, 'why the hell did you have to be here' way. She could appluad him, but she was still insulting him in the process. A sharp tongue was not the right thing to stick out in front of a person like Jakob though, not anymore.
"Before i answer your question you must answer mine." Jakob said, spinning around a chair and sitting in it. His face was lifeless, he wasnt going to pretend something wasnt wrong. Hell Kamilla might even be able to help, Jakob had learned that wisdom came from the strangest places and times. "Do you honestly care Miss Lest...screw formilty, Kamilla, or are you just trying to find another person to laugh at? His face turned from her, again showing its sadness.
The twisted expression on his lips, the tears in his eyes, it all showed that he was going to fight back any joke she made about him, and that he'd hate himself for doing it. He had come here for solace, and to be alone. Now he had to push himself farther into his troubles, and constrew his mind more
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Post by Kamilla Lestrange on Dec 20, 2008 19:59:52 GMT -5
Kamilla shook her head, closed her darting green eyes, and slowly allowed her slight smile to appear and fade. Jakob was so blunt that it amused Kamilla. He was straight forward, honest, but it was obvious that he was sentimental and caring. It was a good match for Blair and despite Kamilla's prejudiced blood beliefs, she couldn't help but wish the unlikely couple luck.
"I would say, "But I asked first.". But today, I won't. Jakob, what makes you think I wouldn't care? The fact that you're not pure blooded or in Slytherin?" She toyed with an answer, choosing to be vague and suspenseful. But then, as she leaned against the nearest desk, she saw a slight glitter. And then, she realized that the sorrowful scintillation that adorned Jakob's cheeks were from salty tears.
It melted her icy heart. It was as is a blow torch had been taken to the biased mind that Kamilla had been forced into having and then, instantly, Kamilla became a caring human. "I honestly care. Because, you're just as conflicted as I am. And when you're this confused, there's no one to turn too. There's no one to understand."
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Jakob Stevenson
Hufflepuff
6th Year
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
Posts: 189
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Post by Jakob Stevenson on Dec 20, 2008 20:08:32 GMT -5
The first question brought silence from Jakob. All he could think about were the years of scorn by people like her, the cold people. Snakes werent the only cold blooded people at Hogwarts, she had allways just struck him as one. She seemed to spite people, to tease and take jabs with an iron sword, for no reason. She was one of the many people who had pulled jabs at him when she seemed to be feeling perfectly happy. She wasnt happy now, she was honest.
The calculating eyes, the ones that had watched fists and jokes rain down upon there body so many times looked at her, staring into her eyes. Both pairs were sad, but they showed it in different ways. The blonde turned himself to her, sitting up. His posture was slacked, expresion changed. He was being honest, his body now an open book. If she allready knew how he felt then it didnt really matter anyway.
"My problem, is change, im changing. What some might call growing up, what of you?" If there was spite in his voice, it was for himself, and it was obvious
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Post by Kamilla Lestrange on Dec 20, 2008 20:22:49 GMT -5
Kamilla had always been intuitive. Once, she had used that to be kind, compassionate. She had used that knowledge to decipher body language and confusing words. But after six years of living with hissing, backstabbing, slithering snakes, she had been morphed. She had been pressured into using her intuition to manipulate people. And she had quickly learned to see people's faults, crumble their weakening foundations. She had seen the power she could receive by hurting people - by whacking their knees, making them bend, forcing them to kneel and beg. She had relished those moments of sadistic power but now, all she wanted was for someone to sift through the chaos she had been pushed into. She needed someone to dive into the raging waters, climb through the confusion, and resurface with answers on what she should do.
She couldn't even pinpoint her problem! She didn't even know how to describe the emotions she was feeling. She was clueless, ignorant. She was roaming treacherous territory with false security blankets. And now, after broken engagements and false promises, she was too confused to even sit down with her long - forgotten best friend, Livinia, and discuss her metamorphosis.
She was growing up.
Jakob was right.
She was changing.
But instead of welcoming it, like she once had, she was fighting it.
"I'm fighting it. I'm fighting the growth." She muttered, leaning back to place herself on the smooth desk. She suddenly swung her slender legs up and crossed them. Her back arched and curved into a c and her delicate hands placed themselves on her exposed ankles. "I . . . can't take it. I don't even know if I love him or not. I mean, maybe I just tricked myself into believing I did! Or, maybe . . . I tricked myself into thinking I didn't." Her short rant had escalated but had suddenly died, sputtering out feeble replies that were laced with poisonous confusion.
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Jakob Stevenson
Hufflepuff
6th Year
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
Posts: 189
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Post by Jakob Stevenson on Dec 20, 2008 20:37:03 GMT -5
Jakob smiled at her, she was fighting the changes? Something in his eyes were giving away answers. They had become uterly calm. No more calculations or wories, just honest thoughts. His lips moved into a true smile, as he took a seat two desks away from her, though he allowed himself to hang off the desk. You coulldnt fight the change, you couldnt stop it or make it eb. He looked down, seeming to accept it.
"I dont know what love is... ive never had anyone to love, or to be loved by. You can make a joke out of that but i can tell you right now, what we're feeling is so similair. You were sure of everything you knew werent you. The natural order of the world was clockwork with him wasnt it?" Pain and care filled his eyes, he envyed her, even if she didnt know what she had felt, at least she had felt it. Had she felt the same way he now felt for Blair, or the school at large. For years he had made it his job to burn the people around him. He was fire, bringing them the warmth of alcohal and drugs. The fools didnt even notice they were burned until it was to late, but thats what happened when played with fire. Fire only knows when its fed, it doesnt know when its hurting. Jakob had seen the effects in some students, and had stopped his trade, earning him hatred from his 'friends'.
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Post by Kamilla Lestrange on Dec 20, 2008 20:47:35 GMT -5
Kamilla shook her head, noticing but not commenting on Jakob's close proximity to her. Jon had never been stable. All she had ever wanted from him was for him to be stable. But Jakob was right, the two, no matter how much Kamilla wanted to fight the truth, were experiencing the same thing. It soothed Kamilla a bit; she was not the only going through such a crisis. But at the same time, it angered her a bit. If everyone was to go through this one day, why was there no one to lean on? "No. The clock was so sporadic, it was murder. But . . . I never told him." She said emptily, staring off. Her green eyes watched the grainy, stone wall - as if to watch it quiver.
"You sound like you know what it's like. Love. When it goes right." She said with a satirical chuckle. "You think you've never experienced it. But if you're willing to do something you never thought you would to, to make them happy, you've loved."
[/b] She said. It wasn't from personal experience but from textbook knowledge. It was what everyone said when it came to discussing love. That was all that was said, in different variations, and then the topic was closed. It was uncomfortable because it as so unpredictable. Love crushed all lines, it penetrated all alliances and rationality. No one, not even the most spontaneous of Gryffindors, found love pleasant. Because it was so powerful, it was so frightening. People needed to feel control, in something, in anything. And that was why they sometimes did the most atrocious things. [/blockquote][/size]
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Jakob Stevenson
Hufflepuff
6th Year
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
Posts: 189
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Post by Jakob Stevenson on Dec 20, 2008 21:00:21 GMT -5
Jakob sat staring at her, listening to her words. "I dont get any of that, theres nothing i havnt thought about doing.. i can prove that to, shut your eyes and try to imagine kissing Lovely Knight, terrible aint it?" He was doing his best to reach out to her now. They were in a boat together, why not connect while they were there.
The blonde took a deep breath and stared at her, calmed down. He looked at the floor, deeper in thought than he was used to. She needed someone to care about her, to tell her everything was going to be ok. Just as much as he did. His heart, so long forgotten, pitted with hers, so terribly shattered. "Just ask this of yourself, if one of you had to die, you or Jon, in the most painful manner possible while the other gets to live the most blissful life in the world without them, how would he have chosen?"
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Post by Kamilla Lestrange on Dec 20, 2008 21:15:18 GMT -5
Kamilla winced as she quickly calculated an honest, reasonable response. "He would live, I would die. If he got to choose." Her words were blunt, they were harsh. Her eyes were still focused on the wall, the pupils were dilating in and out as tears refused to surface. Kamilla managed to weakly smile and she turned her lithe body towards Jakob's. "That was supposed to confirm our undying love, wasn't it?" She said with a smile that masked the sarcastic harshness of the statement.
Jonathan Macnair did not love her. Despite what the gossiping population of Hogwarts thought was so painfully obvious. He didn't. He never did.
Becuase, to Kamilla, people lied. If she was an honest person and had never experienced lying, she could trick herself into being a naive, foolish girl that believed in an honest world. But Kamilla was a deceitful character. She knew how easy it was to lie. She experienced the satisfactory grin that accompanied successful fabrications. It was easy, much to easy, to manipulate a person's trust.
And that was why, despite Jon's persistent confessions of love, Kamilla had not believed him. Because just speaking those words were not enough.
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Jakob Stevenson
Hufflepuff
6th Year
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
Posts: 189
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Post by Jakob Stevenson on Dec 20, 2008 21:27:26 GMT -5
"Confirming love is not something i do Kamilla, confirming what an arse i knew Jon was, that was my point. From the way you talk, the way your sitting there, it all tells me this. You tried to hard to feel something for that maniac, and it ended up cutting you deep. To be honest... i dont think you really know what love is either" Jakob knew his words cut people. He knew that the wounds he had just made might fester deep inside her for years, running in the circles of whether or not he was right. The truth was that he wanted to hurt this girl, to help cut out those doubts she had about her own heart, and mend it back to what it was supposed to be.
The pain welled up in his own eyes now. the only things he understood were deciete and lies, and why not understand them. Blair had looked at him with such compassion that it made his heart stur, and when she gave a similair look to Borgin, it had boiled his blood. He began to cry, for his own jelousy and confusion, for Kamillas problems, and for what they were growing into. He was going to grow up soon, and become what he'd been trying to be the opposite of what he had been doing his whole life. He was going to be a fighter, it was in his blood, but if he could help it, he'd still carry his heart with him while he did it. The tears streamed down from his eyes, reaching his chin quickly. He just stared at the floor, looking like he didnt care that the puddle on it was forming because of him
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Post by Kamilla Lestrange on Dec 21, 2008 20:36:01 GMT -5
Kamilla shuddered, Jakob's cold words chilled the unfamiliar, warm November air. His words were soft, hushed, and slow but the gentle pace did nothing. It barely covered the Hufflepuff's uncharacteristic harsh tone that was only magnified by the emptiness of the cooling room. She felt attacked, exposed. She felt weak, vulnerable. It was uncomfortable and unnerving that anyone, let alone a meek Hufflepuff, could conjure such feelings.
But he was right. It was painful to admit but he was right.
"I don't. You're right. And I'm afraid that I never will. Maybe . . ." She began, looking at Jakob clearly for the first time. His eyes were compassionate, they contrasted his words too deeply. And then, Kamilla realized that Jakob had never meant to hurt her but was rather breaking her so she can begin anew. And so, with newfound courage she continued. "That's why I pined all my hopes on him." She concluded surely, no doubt trailed in her voice. She was reassured, she was honest. She was not playing games because she did not know how to feel. She was confronting her lonely, love forsaken life. She was not analyzing it and pitying herself for it. She was acknowledging it to be true and leaving that subject alone.
And then, the seemingly strong boy broke. He shattered. But instead of breaking into jagged pieces, he crumbled into liquid tears. His sobs were loud, gentle, and moving - all at the same time. Kamilla's hand reached out but it quickly darted back in. She did not know how to react. Her innate compassion was stifled by her calculating mind.
She was a Slytherin. He was a Hufflepuff. She was a pure blood. He was not. She was finally single. He was still supposed to be with Blair. She was arrogant in his eyes. He was foolish in hers.
There was no room for compatibility.
So Kamilla watched, her harsh eyes analyzing the pooling tears.
Crying was for the weak.
So, Kamilla's tears retreated.
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Jakob Stevenson
Hufflepuff
6th Year
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
Posts: 189
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Post by Jakob Stevenson on Dec 21, 2008 20:47:01 GMT -5
When Jakob's eyes came back to her they were harsh, unblinking, staring into her soul. He looked on her and smiled shaking his head. She wasnt done yet, she hadnt broken herself of what she was. "Your fantastic you know that? You can sit next to someone and become healed, yet when they feel pain you think its better to let them blead. Your fcking fantastic"
The blonde wiped his tears, the look in his cold eyes the same ones when he'd challenged her to a duel. She hadnt come here to be comforted or fixed, she'd come to be alone. Well that wrong, she needed to be loved, or at least cared about. He turned his body to her and smiled. "Why would i help you? I knew that you werent going to be much help to me, that once we left this room you'd hate me, so why help you?" He sat crosslegged smiling at her, seeming to know so much more than she ever could, when she thought he knew so little
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Post by Kamilla Lestrange on Dec 21, 2008 23:20:25 GMT -5
"If fantastic and selfish are synonyms, then I'll have to agree." Kamilla said, her words hinting at bitterness. Jakob was a shocking knife of humor - blunt yet dull. It was incredibly impossible to decipher his sarcastic humor and in the past five minutes, she had been so confused. His eyes declared one thing while his body language shouted another. And then, to confuse the poor girl even more, his voice bore no sign of a quiver or sarcasm.
Watching the blond retrieve his tears, Kamila shifted on and off, right to left. It was growing to be more and more increasingly uncomfortable. The air was stale, filled with ill humor, and it seemed to wielding a hammer on Kamilla's soul. It crashed down, ringing in the air, but it refused to break Kamilla. It simply left her gasping, aching, and begging for the pain to stop.
She felt so unwanted, so insignificant. She had no purpose in this world and as the ancient clock blew up dust with each minute tick, she realized that she had been the creator of all this doom.
It was all her fault. She had no one to blame.
"I never asked for you help, did I now?" She said gently, coldly, without a snap. She hated his condescending smiles, his erratic chuckles. It was horrible; how could Blair possibly live with this? "People are flawed. There's no point in deciphering them. And that is why, despite what I should do, I'll stay here and clean up your tears." Kamilla replied slowly, enunciating her words and she waved her wand, causing the fallen tears to disappear.
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Jakob Stevenson
Hufflepuff
6th Year
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
Posts: 189
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Post by Jakob Stevenson on Dec 22, 2008 0:21:31 GMT -5
Jakob sat there and then began laughing hystercly. His laughter, his body and eyes all matced for a single moment, and in that moment it became clear what he thought of her. She was an idiot, a poor sap sitting in front of him, and then it split again, his eyes sorry for her, his body angry and his voice as calm as if he were talking to a teacher.
"You asked for everyones help, you sat away from them feeling torn up about yourself. Then when i start talking about my problems yours are nearly the same. Thats called reaching out, thats called trying to be more human." His body was impossible, love in his eyes, the kind only a true teacher could show, tensing of fighters muscles, and a voice that never strayed from his dull tones. He picked up his violin and played a slow tune. "You think that detaching yourself from these feelings makes you stronger than I am." the violin fell silent the last note quivering in the air.
"your so very weak"
And then it was gone, the spark of life was out, his eyes glazed, body slacked. He gave her his trademark grin, a messed up hello/goodbye
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