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Post by Sadie Sinclair on Jul 18, 2008 16:14:23 GMT -5
Sadie's
Memorabilia --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ;; Appendix 1 - Dear Diary ... [Journal]
2 - Dear Sadie... [Letters]
3 - Wardrobe ... [Outfits]
4 - Mood Ring ... [Mood]
5 - The Sinclairs ... [Family Tree][/font] |
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Post by Sadie Sinclair on Jul 18, 2008 19:24:58 GMT -5
Dear Diary...[/font]xoxo[/size] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- September- Entry 1- Entry 2OctoberEntry 3: Dearest Diary
I had the weirdest, but the best dream ever. I won't go into detail, since it was take too much time to write. But in it... well, I don't know know how to explain it. I killed Alitia. And for the first time in my life, i felt... relieved, good, awesome. Ecstatic... I don't know what it was in that dream that made me...what I am now. But I can honestly say that I no longer feel empathy for other people like I have been for the past 16 years.
So it has been making me do things that I wouldn't normally do. I declared someone to be my pet, but they don't know that, and I just made his friend look like a bad guy! haha. Too good. Oh, and I snogged Desmond Creevey in the forbidden woods. Yes, I know, he's a half blood... But I was just have a little fun. And let's be honest, Dairy, now that I'm engaged with Jonathan Macnair I do not like this restrained feeling. I realize, I like Jon a lot. We have a lot in common, but I know for a fact that he's not marrying me simply because he likes my personality... But if he DOES get mad at for it, he has to be kidding, right?
I mean... all he did was /kiss me on the cheek/.
Not to mention, I didn't get laid in a long ass time.
'Sides, i wouldn't be surprised if he went off and had a little fun behind my back aswell. Wouldn't surprise me at all.
Urgh, hand is cramping.
Got to Go.
Entry 3: Dear Diary....
Lately I've been feeling so confused, and just...ah, I don't even know how to describe how I feel. I wish I could describe it in one word...
Wait. No. I don't think so...
I mean... I've had crushes, and infatuations before. Jack would have to come in close, but that didn't end as well as I would like to. Besides, we aren't much a like. It would never have worked out even if he was a pureblood. He was messy, brute, and just a male. No class, at all, i would have to say. And, he had no fashion sense. Not to mention he made that little snide remark about my shoes. ("Jeezus, Sinclair, you've got more shoes than Footlocker."). What ever Footlocker is.
So, what is that I feel about Jonathan.... I feel both sane and insane now. I mean-- everytime I'm with him i can feel absolutely positively normal, comfortable. Like the Sadie I used to be only a month ago. But when I'm away from him, I turn back into that monster... that manipulative malicious uncaring monster. Argh, I turn into a mini Alitia, and that frightens me.
Well, on a different note I finally met that Seth Rookwood. He's a pretty interesting guy, and seems to have a keen interest about Romania and my family history. Well, glad someone finds it interesting enough to ask me about it. I might've told him too much, like about that Horcrux myth, the one about Octavian, my ancestor. If that's true, I wonder what it is... We have so many family heirlooms, I wouldn't know where to begin to look.
Oh, and now that Kamilla is back from her 3-week vacation, I sense drama. And that Lucy-fourth-year is only adding to my confusion... So all that will be a whole different entry. At this moment, I feel the need to walk Luna in the Gardens.
Noapte Bună [/i] Entry 4: Dear Diary....
I sent mother the letter... The letter requesting an arranged husband. I'm frightened to find out who it will be. I know for one thing though, he would never replace Jon.
Yes, i already did it, I broke the engagment with him. He seemed to believe it was a good idea as well... He seemed pretty guilty about it, but I don't think it affected him the same way as it does me. I don't think he realizes either... But I need to push him away. Try to forget him. And I know I can't, since I'm baring a constant reminder of him every where i go.
Yeah...
I never actually said the words, but there is something...something inside of me. or rather someone. Don't know their name, or if it's a boy or a girl, but I know it's there, growing inside of me.
As if that didn't add to the pressure I am in. I thought by getting rid of Jon that the pain would go away, but it didn't. If possible it just got worse. Why won't it go away?
There's only one way to end this...
I fear that I've lost my mind. [/blockquote]
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Post by Sadie Sinclair on Jul 18, 2008 19:30:04 GMT -5
Dear Sadie... xoxo---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- September- From Alitia Sinclair
- From her Mother
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Post by Sadie Sinclair on Jul 18, 2008 19:45:52 GMT -5
Wardrobe... xoxo---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Autumn Ball (Click) [/size] Halloween BallMain Outfit:  Hat:  Stockings/Garter/Panties:  Boots:  Hair:  Make Up:  [/blockquote] Others'Pogue'sMissy's
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Post by Sadie Sinclair on Jul 18, 2008 19:48:37 GMT -5
Mood Ring... xoxo---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Current:
Dead Inside Song She's Listening to:October - Evanescence can't run anymore,
I fall before you,
Here I am,
I have nothing left,
Though I've tried to forget,
You're all that I am,
Take me home,
I'm through fighting it,
Broken,
Lifeless,
I give up,
You're my only strength,
Without you,
I can't go on,
Anymore,
Ever again.
My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.
I can't run anymore,
I give myself to you,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,
In all my bitterness,
I ignored,
All that's real and true,
All I need is you,
When night falls on me,
I'll not close my eyes,
I'm too alive,
And you're too strong,
I can't lie anymore,
I fall down before you,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.
My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.
Constantly ignoring,
The pain consuming me,
But this time it's cut too deep,
I'll never stray again.
My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love,
My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.
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Post by Sadie Sinclair on Jul 20, 2008 16:51:53 GMT -5
The Sinclairs... xoxo---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - = Married & = Siblings/children -//- = no longer together
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Post by Sadie Sinclair on Sept 21, 2008 16:59:53 GMT -5
Update Diary
- % 25 Jon
- % 25 Baby
- % 50 Suicide Note
Mood & Song. |
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