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Post by Luca Lovell on Sept 11, 2008 20:35:58 GMT -5
L u ca [/i] ←I think you can break me, girl[/font][/right] Well, it looks as if I've suceeded in life once again.
You know how I've been chasing after Miss Lestrange for the longest of times?
Yeah, well, guess what?
I won her over with my sword.
"The sorting hat put me in Gryffindor. I believe that's because, like Godric Gryffindor himself, I, too, have an amazing sword."
I don't know. It's a pretty pointless journal, other than the fact that I've won Kamilla Lestrange over.
Oh, and Clare Smart. She's pushing my buttons, but not in a bad way. Well, she probably shouldn't be, but she doesn't seem to care. Kamilla doesn't scare her, oddly enough, but that's all fine and dandy by me.
Anyways, I'm going to go and not do my HoM homework. Screw classes, right? Right-o. [/blockquote] |
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Post by Luca Lovell on Sept 13, 2008 18:45:16 GMT -5
L u ca [/i] ←I can't see, no I can't breathe[/font][/right] I thought he loved me, but now my inside bleed
Scared for life, I face this world
Only the Lord helps me make it through each day
How can you look in a girl's eye and use her body for your own please?BAM!
It's not a surprise that my face is black and blue, and my sides and back ache from all the places I've been beaten on lately. It's happened before, and to an extent, it's been much worse. I can still remember the day when that ass hole Emilian put a hand on Lyuba.
She was his fucking wife, man. All she ever did was the best she could for him, but he gets pissed off and says she doesn't do enough, so then he tries to beat her up. And I love Lyuba... she's my second mother, the person I looked up to the most after my own mom. And I couldn't stand by and watch as he beat the shit out of her. Even being the small, dinky ass ten year old I was, I had to get in the way. Even if it put me in the hospital with multiple broken bones, cuts, and bruises, it was worth it. I got Emilian's attention off of Lyuba, didn't I? Anyways, she ended up staying with him, even though he'd beaten her up multiple times before and after that. She used to pass off the bruises so well, and I never believed it. But he came home drunk that one time and lashed out on her... and I couldn't trust him again. And now it's happening again, only not to Lyuba, but to Hadyn Bryant.
I hadn't known about it for the longest time. She hid it well, but then she was running away from some damn Slytherin ass holes, and ran into me... pulling me into a broom closet. Eventually, I ended up poking her in the ribs just to tease her, but she flinched away like a wounded animal. And I had seen that happen many times with women who had been beaten; Let's just say Lyuba wasn't the only one I knew back at the community. But... I couldn't stand there and let those dicks get away with it. Hadyn's a nice girl; A good girl. So I jumped out of the closet and took them on, earning myself these battle wounds.
How can a guy do that? How can he sit there and hurt someone he claims to love? How can he feel his hand meet the flesh of a poor innocent girl? Even if they did do something, they couldn't have possibly deserved the emotional and physical scaring that they do upon them. I can't stand it. Girls were not meant to be called bitches, hoes, whores, and sluts. You can't do that too them. They're sacred, they're special. And, trust me, men, chivalry isn't dead. It's fucking here, and you should fucking do it. Let women have their boundaries and don't crush them.
You can't do that.
It sickens me, you know? My stomach actually churns with all of that. I could almost puke. And I have to hit the guys. I have to. Who else is going to stick up for the poor girls? And, as Lucy so kindly pointed out, why not use my magic? Because I don't get the same satisfaction as I do from feeling my fist meet flesh and bone. I don't get the same feeling of justification. So I do it the hard way, the 'muggle' way, only without guns and steel and all that jazz.
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I watched Hadyn fall apart. He kept calling her a 'good girl'. And... Well, I got sick. Physically sick. And she... she just... unraveled. And broke, and fell apart. She became putty in his arms and did what he'd want her to, just so she wouldn't be hurt. And I couldn't do a thing.
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At least the fucker's dead, right?
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She's broken. Hanging on by a thread.
Fuck.
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I still didn't do anything. |
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Post by Luca Lovell on Nov 18, 2008 18:12:49 GMT -5
L u ca [/i] ←I can't see, no I can't breathe[/font][/right] These eyes have had too much to drink again tonight
Black skies, we'll douse ourselves in high explosive light
Hey, can we stop?
It's kind of odd how everyone sees me as the smiling, happy man... They don't think that there's any other side to Luca Lovell. They think he's just a woman-loving, happy guy, who gets into the occasional (or more than often) testosterone filled fist fight with some other bloke who's got a nice big head. They think Luca Lovell is a kind, sweet, gentle guy who would never lay a hand on a woman in a harmful way.
If only they knew him now.
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I hurt Hadyn...
I... I
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It's kind of sad that I can't even say what I did to her when it was so easy to say what Royce did to her. Royce raped her. And I did the same.
It wasn't even my doing. I didn't want to... but I can't pin the blame on someone else. It's my fault I'm not strong enough to fight off the Imperius Curse. It's my fault that I couldn't do it... couldn't protect her like Jaiden asked me to. It's not that I'm scared of him, but I broke her.
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That man I see in the mirror?
He's a sick man.
He sickens me.
He touched an innocent girl, and he broke her.
And then he left her to bleed
To cry.
He shouldn't be forgiven...
I shouldn't be forgiven...
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I hate you.
You, as in me.
I hate you. |
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Post by Luca Lovell on Nov 23, 2008 16:13:08 GMT -5
L u ca [/i] ←It haunts me in my dreams
And nothing's as it seems[/font][/right] I can hear her in my dreams.
Do you understand how bad that is?
I can hear her screaming in my dreams.
it's like the effects of a dementor... i keep reliving every second of it. Only... the dreams don't suck out my soul. i wish they would... i wish i couldn't think anymore. i wish i was empty.
why can't i be empty? [/blockquote] |
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Post by Luca Lovell on Dec 6, 2008 19:46:03 GMT -5
L u ca [/i] ←I can't take this anymore[/font][/right] It ends now.
It ends tonight.
It ends where it all started |
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