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Post by Sofia Flint on Jan 1, 2009 20:06:04 GMT -5
→S o f i a
how did i get so lost inside of you?[/color] I COULD BE SAVED, I COULD BE FOUNDget high and dry is all i really wanna do[/color][/font] Sofia was utterly beside herself. She was driving herself mad, dwelling on so many different feelings.
First of all, she didn't want to feel anything toward Jon Macnair, but that looked to be impossible. She was feeling far too many emotions for the guy and she wasn't sure what one to go with. Was she pissed off at him, or was she still in love with him? Did she want him dead or did she just simply want Lucy dead? Did she want Jon, or did she just want him to be alone forever?
The fact that she was sitting in the middle of the Slytherin common room, fuming away, was not a good thing. Sofia didn't really have any 'friends', and the common room was not a place to be in this kind of state. She had many enemies... Yet the common room seemed absurdly empty. Everyone was off doing other things, not worrying about a damn person or thing. And that made Sofia a little angry. If someone were here, she wouldn't have to focus her attention on Jon.
Even Mayhew, the one thing that stayed by her side through thick and thin, couldn't comfort her now with purring. He had wandered into the room, his little belly full of some critter he had caught and killed in the grounds, and curled up on Sofia's stomach, purring as the warm fire filled the room and warmed him. She pet him for a while, but when it ceased, he looked up at her through irritated eyes and wandered off to the girl's dormitory, and Sofia had simply sighed and watched. She couldn't even focus on one of the guys in her life who she knew would love her regardless.
And it was sad that she knew it was a cat.
Sofia made a frustrated noise and threw her arms over her face. She was sick and tired of sitting around and thinking all about Jon. Jon, Jon, Jon, Jon. When would it ever end?
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Post by Jonathan Macnair on Apr 19, 2009 17:36:34 GMT -5
  [ I want my own thing so bad I'm gonna scream
As he entered the common room, he was feeling strange. His eyes fell on Sofia, but he didn't register her. Maybe if he had, he wouldn't have dropped to his knees and dropped his head into his hands. Maybe he wouldn't have sworn so loudly. Maybe he wouldn't have let her see his weaknesses. He was a Macnair, trained in the way of no emotions, but he was a textbook case of what an emotional wreak was. Though he didn't love his father, the promise of death by his hand upset him more than he ever thought it would. It shouldn't, but it did. He hated that more than anything.
"Damn it," he hissed to the room he thought was empty, "I'm not ready yet."
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Post by Sofia Flint on Apr 19, 2009 17:49:43 GMT -5
→S o f i a
how did i get so lost inside of you?[/color] I COULD BE SAVED, I COULD BE FOUNDget high and dry is all i really wanna do[/color][/font] Her green eyes wandered the common room, trying to focus on something else but the thoughts taking up her mind. All she could look at were the stone walls, the paintings, the green couches and arm chairs... the guy walking into the room. Sofia sat up a little straighter, no longer laying her entire body across the couch. Her back was to the arm rest as she peered over the few pieces of furniture between them, and her eyes filled with concern as she watched him drop to his knees. She wouldn't have felt bad... but it was Jon. Jon, the guy she had just been bitching about to herself. The guy that was the source of all her problems. If anything, she should have been angry, and deep down, she was a little. But at that very second, she was a little concerned. Then he spoke.
She swung her long legs over the side of the couch, crossing one over the other, putting her elbow on her knee and her face in her open hand to watch him. She waited for him to say more, but nothing came out, and she wondered if she should break the silence. How could she not, especially when he was all her mind could think about?
"What aren't you ready for, Jon?" Her voice rang out through the room like a loud noise in the night. He hadn't seem to have seen her, which most people would have, so she knew she'd be a surprise to him. [/size]
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Post by Jonathan Macnair on Apr 19, 2009 21:46:52 GMT -5
[ I gotta say what's on my mind
If it had been any voice but that voice, Jon was sure he could've made something up or feigned melodramatics. As it was, he couldn't lie to her about the way he was feeling. He could try, but he figured she'd seen right through him. There were so many chinks in his armor these days. He could feel himself slowly crumbling to pieces on the inside, so he supposed it was only natural the rest of him was going to follow.
He lifted his head and looked at her, still on his knees. "Sofia ..." he murmured, not really knowing what to say. He could answer her question, but that was the last thing he wanted to do, he decided. He could tell her how he was feeling. That went against everything he wanted to uphold. They should think he was strong and unfeeling to the very end. The ones, of course, that didn't know the truth, anyway.
Lucy was not in that number, but he couldn't figure out which Sofia was in.
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Post by Sofia Flint on Apr 20, 2009 5:14:55 GMT -5
→S o f i a
how did i get so lost inside of you?[/color] I COULD BE SAVED, I COULD BE FOUNDget high and dry is all i really wanna do[/color][/font] She waited, eyeing the space between them. It was almost like there were miles between them. For some reason, she wasn’t feeling as close as she wanted to be, and the fact that she wanted to be closer was enough to make her a little mad at herself. She was so pathetically in love with Jon. Yes, she was known as one of the school’s whorish girls, and for the most part, she prided herself on being ruthless without feelings. But she was human, despite what she showed others, and she did feel something for Jon that seemed as if it was a raging fire that would never quite die out. The flames for Jon would always exist, whether he was with her or not.
“Jon,” She echoed his name, saying it almost as he had said hers, though there had been something deeper behind her name. She watched him with eyes that wanted him, but she had no idea what to do. She wanted to know what to do; she wanted it real bad. But now she couldn’t decide. Should she get up and go to him? Or should she wait until he came to her? Would he come to her, or would she have to be strong and initiate it all?
She didn’t wait for him to move, nor did she dwell on the thought of whether or not he would. She decided that she would. Uncrossing her legs, she pushed off the couch with her hands and stood, walking toward him with something less than her normal sexual walk. She wasn’t feeling as sexual as she normally did; she felt drained. Sofia walked to Jon and stood before him, looking down at him, not daring to touch him or make any other movements.
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Post by Jonathan Macnair on Apr 26, 2009 23:57:42 GMT -5
You're the one that I trust He looked up at her as she came to stand in front of him. He felt uncertainty wash over him. He wished it was a feeling he barely ever experienced, but that wasn't meant to be. Due to his current position in his father's heart, he felt nothing but uncertainty. He no longer felt safe. He no longer felt like he was God's gift to the world. That particular feeling had left him long ago. He didn't desire to be the next Dark Lord; his prejudice was dead. He saw Muggles on the same level. The only difference was they didn't have magic and really that was okay. It made them extraordinary in a way. He liked that somehow.
"Of course it would be you I come across when I'm feeling this way." he said quietly, still looking up at her. "I suppose I'm fortunate it's you rather than Alec or Kamilla." The thought of Kamilla finding him like this was worse than Alec, though if Alec saw him in his weakness, he would make a report to Kamilla. He was sure of that. "I'm sorry if I disturbed you." he added, apologetic.
I've become everything I hate. I'm spineless.
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Post by Sofia Flint on Apr 29, 2009 5:21:01 GMT -5
→S o f i a
how did i get so lost inside of you?[/color] I COULD BE SAVED, I COULD BE FOUNDget high and dry is all i really wanna do[/color][/font] “You didn’t disturb me,” Sofia said, looking at him with eyes that were no longer careful. Her eyes were filled with something far from carefulness. They were now filled with concern and puzzlement. This was certainly not the Jonathan she knew. He seemed so… vulnerable, which was something he never showed. That was how he was. He may be emotional just like everyone else, even if Sofia always considered him heartless lately, but he never seemed to show it. He was good at it. Now, however, he was shockingly different, and it puzzled and scared Sofia all at once. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong.
“What is wrong with you?” Sofia asked quietly. Not only did her eyes hold that concern, but her voice did as well. She reached out a hand and touched his jaw, stroking it with gentle fingers and titling his face toward her. “This isn’t like you.”
It certainly wasn't like Sofia either. Everyone thought that she, too, was a heartless bitch who could care less about others' feelings. Jon, however, had that one place in her heart that was so soft memoriized. Whether he knew it or not, he was the one person who knew exactly how to press her buttons, in good and bad ways.
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