sometimes you just need to BREATH;; open

[Audrey Paxton]

{A U D R E Y}

A lot of the times, actually most of the times, people tend to get swept up in all of the madness that goes on in the world. No one is able to sit down and just relax. Now I understand that I'm not a particularly fantastic writer and these letters to no one will never be anything worthy of print. They're just my attempt at taking a chance to just sit back and reflect upon what is happening in my life and in the lives around me.

Nearly all that could be heard in the snow-laden courtyard was the sound of the quill scratching against course parchment. But what could one expect this early on a Saturday morning. As one of the odd birds, Audrey actually wakes up before nine on most weekend mornings, as an attempt to feel productive about the day. Just because there are no classes does not mean there's nothing to do. As an example, the early morning de-stressing sessions on Saturday have nearly become a ritual. The smooth strokes against the paper in an elegantly bound forest green book have been what keeps everything in perspective to the girl, or at least what her warped sense of perspective is.

Laying the pen across the book, she reached over and grabbed her thermos of tea sititng next to her. The instant the hot liquid touched her tongue, the heat flowed through her body. As the tips of her fingers began to tingle, Audrey closed her eyes and savored this moment. She soaked in every sound and every smell. The rustle of the bare branches of the trees and the smell of the snow on the ground tantalized her senses in a way that was impossible when people were around. Clutching her thick coat around her, as if to not let any of the heat escape, she felt the dry sun start to peak over the walls of the castle enough to warm her face. It was a slight rise in temperature, but it also signaled the dwindling time that she had left in solitude. As the day began to get older more and more students would be starting to hustle and bustle about the castle. As if reading her mind, the sounds of footsteps echoed through the corridor next to the courtyard. Audrey listened as they at first got louder, but then dwindled back into nothingness.

As more tea flowed down into her body, thoughts of the upcoming times wafted through Audrey's thoughts. Typically her Saturday morning reflections were focused on the past and what had happened to her recently. Today was different. A new term was starting and this news was hitting Audrey like a ton of bricks. She had a year and a half left at Hogwarts. After that she was out. At the age of 18 Audrey Paxton would no longer be a child, and forced to find something productive to do with her life. Of course she was always welcome at her home, and money was not an issue. But to Audrey, relying on that kind of support as an adult was out of the question and the sign of failure. Audrey had a year and a half to make herself into something that mattered. That time was shortening, and this was the thought that made Audrey particularly nervous. Sipping the last of her tea, she opened her eyes and picked up the quill. Pouring her anxieties on the page, she was starting to close up her self therapy session.

There's so much to do and there is not enough time or energy to do it. My life is soon beginning and that thought is a terrifying one. I need to make my life matter, because anything else would be the ultimate failure. I feel my heart pounding as I think of this daunting task called life that is laid ahead of me.At some point, I think I have realised something.

Sometimes, you just need to breath.